Jenn's MindSay Blog

the new name..

chocolateshake — 2005-06-30T12:06:34-05:00

this is the new name because i know i can't be away from this place for long. i just didn't want Courtney to read about my days because she's a stupid whore. lol. just kidding. i dont talk shit.. unlike her.

well, i'm going to let Chae do my layout for me, because she LOVES doing that kind of stuff. so i'll write more in here tomorrow because i'm off to bed. i do have summer school tomorrow and all.

                             nighty-night and thanks Nicoley...
                    you know.. for everything tonight. i <3 you

                                                            Jennifer<3

i love my happy self ;)

D.Q. w/ Dom and Mal tomorrow <3 gunna have fun w/ you two!
me and Mal w/ our ''too hyper to go to bed'' club! WOoT!

4 days until the birthday biz-itchez!

this is Chae Lynne :)

chocolateshake — 2005-06-30T12:06:04-05:00

hey, this is Chae Lynne. Jen's friend. i did her new layout. it's not the best but i'm super-mondo tired and i'll work on it tomorrow while she's at school.

hope everything works out great Jen!! me and Nicole and Tony love you so much!!!! <3333

oh btw you guys. look at her picture. aren't her and Jake the cutest! haha. they're best friends <33 and they love eachother more than anything. i think it's cute. but hey, that could just be me!!

well, hope you all enjoy the new layout.. for now. just until i get an idea of what she wants and likes.

                   TaH-tAh
                          Chae Lynne *<3
             on Jennifer's mindsay name <33

i'm DQing it w/ Mal and Dom

chocolateshake — 2005-06-30T06:06:40-05:00

ok, so a half n hour till i have to meet Dom and Mal at D.Q.. yay. lol. wow, i haven't seen that kid for a long time, and i miss him <3.. lol. it's been more than a year, i reckon. i'm getting old on you guys :) go me.

i saw Courtney w/ all her gay friends today. i gave her the finger, but i dont think she saw it. damn...

i hung out w/ Tyler after school. i guess it was fun. we watched ''Scream 2'' since he's never seen any of the scream movies before. yeah, i know. weird. we hung out here until around the time my mom was to be home, i can't have people over w/o her here.. haha, and we went driving around. he's one crazy mofo in his car. lol. we went by Fremont and guess who i saw.. MY OTHER FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.. Jim. i hate that kid as much as i hate Courtney. but eh, what can ya do.

my throat sort of hurts. but i guess thats what happens sometimes. lol.

i gotta go get ready. almost time to go DQing.. <33 yay. we gun' have fun!
         besides, i finally getta meet Mal. lol. and i getta see Dom again <33333333

                               later 'gator ;)

also - Me and Tony K. are becoming better friends. at least we're actually talking. we never really did before. maybe C-BootAy should be gone more often. i seem to get my work done faster!! heh.

3 MORE DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY!    woOt

the funnest day in a long time. i sure did miss you...

chocolateshake — 2005-06-30T09:06:36-05:00

Hanging out w/ Dominic tonight, i have realized i still do have feelings for him. a lot of feelings. it was weird seeing him again, i do admit it brought back memories of all the times we talked about stuff. i mean, he's helped me through so many things it is unbelievable. and when i push him away, which i do a lot, he knows i need him the most. he's such a great guy.

Mal was one sweet chick, too. she's so halarious. and it was fun hanging out w/ them two today because i guess it's what i needed. considering all of the shit i've been going through.

anyways, DQ was fun. i had gotten a MooLatte (carmel.. mmm mmm good) which i didn't even finish. i didn't really want it anymore. oh well. it was my moms money and i have to pay her back when i get paid anyways.

                           i'm going to get going.
              i'm too happy and jolly to write in here.

over all, i've had the funnest day in a long time, and i've had a great day also.

            thanks Dom and Mal <33 you two rock!

                                             Later Gator ;)

3 days till my birthday!! (once again!) b-day party in 2 days.. wo0t!! come if you please :)

¿ are we going up -- or just going down ?

chocolateshake — 2005-06-30T10:06:54-05:00

i've been thinking a lot lately and i think i want to call a truce w/ Danielle. thats me and her in the new pic. i duno, i guess that i'm over it because no matter what i think, someone is going to be lying to me, and i duno who.. so i guess i'll just give up trying to find the real story because everyones is different. besides, she is going to be my future sister-in-law. lol. maybe, probably not though. and i don't want things between me and Tyler's family akward. well, his dad doesn't approve of me anyways... i'm ''too young'' for Tyler. even though we're 2 years and 99 days apart. i dont get it. oh well, it'll be over soon... :( i can just feel it!!

i'm scared to be single.. (lonely)
ecspecially after being in a relationship for like 9 months...
gee, right now, i dont want me and Tyler to be over.
but at the same time, i sort of do.

there is so many things i want to say to Tyler, and i want to talk to him about things, but it's just hard, because i dont think he wants to hear about it. he still doesn't know i cut (or used to.. ?), but i think he's on to me. he doesn't know that for the last week i have cried just about every day because of those two ''fuckers''. and besides, he doesn't want to think anything bad about Jim, because of course, he LOVES him. not in a gay way, just as friends. i tried to tell him what Jim did to me yesterday, but he ignored me because he didn't want to hear it. i mean, i need someone that will be there for me when i need them the most.. not just someone to have. i love him.. but i'm just not sure about our relationship anymore.

i'm confused.. what should i do? *advice needed .. thank you greatly!*

Later 'Gator ;)

3 days baby.. wo0t!

no subject

chocolateshake — 2005-07-01T01:07:37-05:00

i t h u r t s t o k n o w t h a t
                 w e a r e
         j u s t   f r i e n d s

and that thats all that we are going to be.. for a very long long time.
and it hurts so much. because i love you.

            i love you <3

later 'gator ;)

"i just wish you'd understand.. it hurts me as bad as it hurts you"

fricken sa-weetness man! haha. imma P-r-I-n-C-e-S-s... WOOT.

chocolateshake — 2005-07-01T04:07:34-05:00

oh my. am i happy today.. well, sort of.
       but i'll write about that later ;)

me and the mom are going to go get thingies for my party tomorrow.
and i can't wait. no one really is going to be there considering it's the fourth of july weekend and everybodys like up north or something.. thats what i hate about having my birthday on July 3rd. stupid stupid birth! lol.

imma get my princess stuff because OF COURSE imma be a princess for my birthday <33 can't wait. me and Caitlin were thinking about being Fairytopia dolls and what not. but i think imma just get a crown and what not.

           <3 THE SOON THE BE BIRTHDAY GIRL!!
                                  <3 Jenn

           2 days till the bday!
    tomorrow's the party!!

                      DOUBLE WOOT!

                                              later 'gator ;)

* my * hearts * torn * between * two *

chocolateshake — 2005-07-04T08:07:10-05:00

well, the party was a B.L.A.S.T. i had a great time ecspecially w/ Dominic. i haven't seen him in like over a year, and it was great spending time w/ him. i think we both feel the same way about eachother, having feelings for one another, but it was distance that torn us apart in the first place. and that was when he still lived in St. Francis, now he lives 3 hours away, and i guess it would be harder than the other.

something happened last night that i am very dissapointed in myself about. i spent the night at Lauren and Jarrod's house, which was all great fun. Kelly's girlfriend mistaked me as a 20 yr. old, which was flattering, but hmm, maybe it was because it was dark, and i was drunk. lol. yes, i know. it's a bad thing to do, but i duno, guess i just couldn't pass it up on my birthday. and thats why i'm dissapointed in myself.. i did something when i was drunk, or almost did, and i'm not very happy. i didn't remember at first, but now i do, and it scares me...

so many problems, so little time.
oh btw.. Happy 4th of July everyone!! woOt!

the presents:
Courtney - Paris Hilton (March 2005) edition of Playboy ... haha.
Caitlin - Fairytopia doll (inside joke)
Dominic n Mal - Flowers <3 ...long story
G-Ma - 25 dollars ;) oh yes.
Mom - minutes for my phone, clothes, accessories and what not.
Jarrod (brother) - alcohol <33 haha. well, i paid for it, but his friend bought it. but still. it works.
..thats all i can think of!!..

Courtney, Mal, Caitlin, and Dominic were the only ones who came to my party. even though it was a small amount of people, i wouldn't have wanted to change it at all. it was so much fun. i have pictures... wanna see? i'll put them in here later because i have to head out to go to Tiki's aunts for the fireworks <33 yay!!

Later 'Gator ;)

once again.. HaPpY fOuRtH oF jUlY! yAy! LOL.

hope you had/had fun! :)

it hurts holding you, and knowing you aren't mine.

chocolateshake — 2005-07-05T09:07:00-05:00

i never knew how much i'd miss him until he was finally gone. i dont know if i made the right decision last night, but i made one.. i'm sort of regretting it, but i can't keep getting hurt over this. two nights ago i found something out about Tyler, which i'm very dissapointed with, and which i've been through before w/ other guys. for the past 2 months he's been lieing to me. smoking weed. i know, it's very bad. he promises he wont do it again, but thats what he said last time, and i dont think i can keep believing him and getting dissapointed like this. i love him so much, and i just dont know what to do. i didn't want to break up w/ him, but he gave me no choice. he kept asking for another chance, but i've given him so many it's pitiful.

today i hung out w/ him for a while. everything, right away, was akward. you know, no talking and just the usual "whats up?" and "how are you?" type of things. i could tell something was wrong, so i tried to get it out of him. we went for a walk, and i sad down on the grass and we ended up hugging and talking about it. we were acting like we normally did, except for the fact that we weren't going out. it hurt to have him hug me and all that stuff. he asked for another chance, again, and it was hard. he told me to think about it for a couple days, to not throw our relationship away because he loves me and he'll do anything to prove he quit. i want to go out w/ him, but i can't keep forgiving him because i'll end up hurting myself in the end. gahd, i love him so much.

i feel bad because him mom called me twice last night and both times my phone was going dead, so i couldn't talk to her. i couldn't even answer it. and i know she wanted to talk to me about something important. i feel so bad, i mean, i dont want her to hate me over this. i like his mom, she's the only one of Tylers parents' that actually like me. besides Jenney. but i barely talk to either of them. i know his aunt and uncle better than i know his dad or mom. and i know his cousins better than i know his 2 little brothers. i'm trying to get ahold of Danielle, talk to her about things. she's always been there for me, even though we haven't been on the best sides of eachother. and i'd be there for her in a heartbeat if she needed me.

i just dont know what to do anymore.

i think tonight is going to be one of those nights.

i need some advice if you have any. if not.. i guess i'll be fine.

later 'gator ;)

b.t.w. my mom made everything SO MUCH BETTER by bitchin' me out today. i was all fine until i walked in the house and all of a sudden my mom just goes off on me. it lasted for a long time.. she even told me to get out... what scares me is that i have no where to go to. no one to confide in for help. everyone that would help me.. lives farther away.

i wish life wasn't so hard and complicated.

"It's Good To Go."

chocolateshake — 2005-07-06T08:07:04-05:00

b to the izzord

i didn't mean to scare Tyler last night.
so much shit happend it was insane.
and i didn't want him to worry.

i'm sorry Tyler, you have to understand that it helps.

this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make...
                  should i stay w/ him?
                 or should i let him go?

today was.. ok i guess. i didn't go to summer school because i was sick in the morning. maybe i'm just too stressed lately. i dont know. but i slept in until 1:45 pm and my mom woke me up so we could go eat lunch w/ my big brother Jason since i haven't seen him in like forever and he was in Elk River for the day. he had an interview at Menards for a managing position. we went to Taco Bell, my fave. place to eat <33 lol. and he made me try the Crunchwrap Supreme or whatever, you know, ''It's Good To Go'' lol. we were there for like 2 1/2 hours just talking about things. my mom brought up the whole Tyler thing, which i asked her not to, and Jason kept asking what happened and i didn't want to tell him if Tyler didn't want me too, because i didn't want Tyler mad at me. so i told him to call Tyler and ask. so he did, and Tyler told him what happened. i was suprised how much Jason didn't care, he only cared if Tyler stoped. Tyler knows to stop or he not only loses me as a g/f, he loses me as a friend too. and Jason offered Tyler to call him whenever considering Tyler doesn't have an older brother nor a good father figure since him and his Pop's dont get along very well.

Jason says me and Tyler are going to get married. lol. and he said a lot more stuff but i dont feel like writing in here anymore.

                                                   Later 'Gator ;)

It's LoVe babeY .. mAke iT hUrt

chocolateshake — 2005-07-08T05:07:53-05:00

right when i had woken up yesterday morning, my mom started yelling at me. actually, i wasn't really even that much awake; i was still sort of sleeping. it was such a great thing though, not. i was practically crying when i went to summer school. i've been cutting 10 times worse than i have before. i only have 3 cuts, but i keep making them deeper and deeper, re-opening them, each time my mom pisses me off or something bad happens in my life. something i just can't take anymore.

Tyler stoped by the other night. just to see if i was O.K. and because he missed me. it was around 10:30 pm and he had just gotten off work. i opened the door, not knowing who it was, and he grabed me and gave me a hug, not like his normal hugs. i could tell something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me. i could see in his eyes that he is hurting as much as i am, which i didn't think he would be, but i now see he loves me more than i thought. Last night he told me that he finally realized how much i care about him. i was suprised he said that because he doesn't think i care that much about him, but why else would i yell at him for acting stupid in his car? i don't want him dead. speaking of his car.. he had me drive that thing last night. my eyesight is already bad, and to make it worse, it was dark out. lol. i didn't have my glasses so i could barely see the road. but i mean, it was fun. i hate his car. it's too big for my little self. lol. i'll tell you one thing, "I'M NEVER DRIVING THAT BEAST EVER AGAIN!" and thats final!

i still haven't gotten around to calling Danielle back, and i feel bad. i was calling her and texting her to call me when she has time, and she actually does... and i dont call her back. Tyler's going to tell her some news today that will, if it's true, effect the rest of our lives, and those around us too. i just pray we get lucky... gah, this week sort of sucks.

Jason's coming home now. he got the job at Menards and he's coming home, here, to live. i can't wait. i love Jason! Even though we have our bad times, but i mean, what brother and sister dont? honestly!? he's helped me through a lot, and i think i've helped him through stuff too. now this means MORE TACO BELL RUNS! <33 YAY. lol.

i'm thinking about working there. since i love it so much. but i duno. i guess it would help if i went and got an application and what not.

i'm going to go eat some Sarpino's Pizza cuz it's fricken good!! lol.

Later Gator ;)

he saw the marks upon my wrist and said,

chocolateshake — 2005-07-09T09:07:09-05:00

O.M.G! i got a new kitten today. it's so cute. it's gray, all gray. Jason told me to name it Tarzan, so i'm thinking i will. i'm having a hard time naming it, so why not. lol. he's 6 weeks old. lol. and my other cats are already jealous and moody w/ him. lol.

last night i went to TB's w/ Danielle. yeah, it's been a couple weeks since i've been there, but i guess it was fun. Danielle hung out w/ me instead of Courtney and Courtney was giving us dirty looks, so was her friend Marissa. Danielle and I had gotten bored so we walked to McDonalds, on the way we were shouting things at cars. things like, "hey baby" and, "wussup?" lol. Mark drove by us and said something out the window.. i wonder if he knew it was us. lol. On our way back we had to run across the street and i found myself thinking, "hmm, isn't there supposed to be a curb somewhere around here?" .. oh i was right. haha, i fell and like flipped over the curb. it was funny. Danielle was scared if i had landed on my stomach or not, but i didn't ::phew::. lol. oh, as you can tell, everything between me and Danielle is cleared up now. :) i'm so happy about that. but now my knees hurt like bitches. lol. i scraped my left knee pretty bad and my right one is ok, but my elbow and my hand are pretty banged up. oh well, it was funny. i was laughing the whole time.

Tyler came over at like 11:30 pm and my mom was putting Peroxide on my knee and stuff. O.M.G. that stuff stings so bad. i was like squeezing Tyler's hand and hugging him and everything, and my mom's like, "hey Jenne, look at it. it's really bubbleing." and i'm like, "no, thats sick!" and Tyler's like, "it looks like a volcano!" lol. I was craving Taco Bell so me and Tyler went to Taco Bell at like midnight. and it was good :) lol.

i didn't feel good on the way home. i felt like i was going to pass out and it was creepy. i got out of Tyler's car and i almost fell. i went inside, texted Tyler and told him i loved him, and went to my room and blacked out. it was weird. and it scares me...

well, i'm going to go mess around w/ Tarzan <333 he's so cute! lol.

write later

Later Gator ;)

oh b.t.w. Jason's coming home to live tomorrow! i can't wait. i'm still not sure if i'm going down to Mankato w/ my mom to help him move yet, because it'll be at like 7 in the morning, and i dont want to get up that early. but also, i dont want to stay home all by myself. thats a little creepy. it's like HOME ALONE all over again <3 heh.

my kitten is still nameless...

chocolateshake — 2005-07-10T12:07:38-05:00

any suggestions for my kitten's name? i feel bad because i haven't named it yet.. Jason called back and was like, "Jenne, name it Otter.." i'm like, "like, the animal?" and he's like, "yeah." what a dork. lol. i love my kitten. <3333

here's the names i have SO FAR:

Tarzan
Dusty
Otter
Riley
JoJo
Frank
Mr. Smelly

thats all. a bunch of my peeps have been telling me some names. so there they are.

Tyler came over after work. he got here at 9:30 pm. i love him so much. oh yeah.. WE'RE GOING BACK OUT! gosh, i can't stay away from him for too long. i'll tell you more later because Lauren scared my kitten and i gotta go save him! heh.

*leave cat names ;)*

LaTeR gAtOr :P

Keith's been smoking the GrAsS .. literally, grass.

chocolateshake — 2005-07-11T08:07:17-05:00

yesterday i had THEE worst morning ever. i lost something that i didn't even know i had. i'd love to say what it was, but i can't. only Tyler and Danielle know. :( it was the most horible thing that could have ever happened to me. but oh well, i knew it was coming.

Danielle leaves for Montana tomorrow.. i'm going to miss her. very much so. she's not coming back until the end of July, and then i leave for Workcamp. so.. that doesn't really work out that well. Tyler was supposed to go, which i would have gone crazy w/o seeing him, but he has to work and what not. i'm pretty glad he didn't go. i love him too much to not see him for like 2 weeks. haha.

*text messages*
Tiki: so did you go to TB's? and see your lover or are you going back out with fagget?
*i forward to Tyler*
Tyler: next time i see that fat bitch i'm runing her over!
Me: lol, don't ruin your car
Tyler: yeah. it'll be worse than hitting a moose.
*Tyler Calls*
Tyler: whats that fat whores #?
Me: haha, why?
Tyler: cuz i want to talk to that stupid bitch
Me: what are you going to say?
Tyler: i dont know. stuff.
Me: tell you later
*crosses fingers*
Tyler: ok, love you
Me: love you more!!
Tyler: nope, i love you more!
*goes on and on*
*finally hangs up phone*

lol that was really funny. it was funnier if you would have heard it. i guess it's one of those "you had to be there to hear it" sort of moments.

yesterday i had gotten up early, which i had no ambition to do, but i got up. we had to go to Jason's to help him move back here. and O.M.G. i was dieing of a heat stroke or something. it was so hot out and plus my knee hurts like a bi-atch and i had to walk UP and DOWN the effin' stairs! lol. the way home was fun. i rode w/ Jason and we saw this biker dude that was fat and had tight leather on and Jason made the gaging gesture. lol. it was funny. i saw like 4 hummers and i had like mini-orgasms.. lol. we stoped at Hardees to eat. i had never eaten there before in my life, so i had just gotten a regular cheeseburger, but o.m.g. those are so good!! no joke! afterwords i felt like i was going to throw up, because of all the heat, so i went into the bathroom and i was in there for like 5-10 minutes. i walk out and Jason yells across the whole resteraunt, "DID YOU FALL IN?" lol. that was .. uh .. quite an experience. then we got home and i had to help him move his crap up stairs which wasn't any fun. lol.

today i found out that my friend Becky's sister, Jamie, had gotten raped last night. Becky was crying because she felt so bad, she blames it on herself. they had gone to a party in Isanti and Becky got real drunk and passed out, and while she was passed out Jamie was raped, so she feels that if she had never gotten drunk, she would've been able to protect her sister from that. i tried to tell Becky it wasn't her fault, but i dont think she believes me. she loves her sister so much, and her sis is only 13, so i mean, she should never go through that. it's the worst feeling to feel in the whole world.

well, i'm going to go watch "Hells Kitchen" w/ my mom cuz she wants me to. lol. maybe i'll just stay on the computer and watch it, but maybe i'll go cuddle w/ Otter *new kitty* and watch it.. hmm... decisions decisions. :P

i'll write more later or tomorrow, i promise!

love ya!

Later 'Gator ;)

b.t.w. Sarah just got here, Jason's little ''girl friend''. i dont know if they're going out or what but they seem to like eachother. i dont like her that much. i like the other Sarah *Sarah D.*. she's so much cooler. lol.

today was a semi-good day :) and i like it!

oh by the way again, Tyler just called and he's coming over. yay! i love him so much.. woopty woop! haha. but i gotta go wash dishes, so i'll write later. bye haters :)

no subject

chocolateshake — 2005-07-24T10:07:56-05:00

this is going to be a quick entry because .. yeah, i'm on my bro's computer cuz mine has been down for like 2 weeks practically. GAH! it makes me mad not being able to come on here and vent. i'm going crazy!!!

well, i just came on to say i'll be back on here shortly. once my computer decides to cooperate w/ me! lol. damn computers, i tell ya!

Later Gator ;)

btw.. 5 days till i leave for KenTuckY! woot!

LEAVE COMMENTS <3 :P

i hate road rAgE

chocolateshake — 2005-07-24T11:07:26-05:00

i forgot to mention in my last entry that Tyler had experienced Road Rage today, and it scares the living daylights out of me!!!!!

some guy cut him off today, so Tyler passes him on his way to work, and at a stop light or at a stop sign or something the guy gets out of his truck and starts punching and chokeing Tyler! This is some scary shit. Tyler is, of course, pressing charges. which i think he'd be insane not to!

when i heard this, i was scared to death. no one hurts my baby!! lol, if i knew this guy i'd go and kick his ass, or have Jason (20), Jarrod (18), and Daymon (34) *my three bro's* do it for me! lol.

dont think i wouldn't, cuz i would!! lol..well, Jarrod's in jail right now cuz he missed his court date. i miss him! lol. and i asked him today if he was anyones bitch and he said, "everyones my bitch!" lol and he said "i met bubba" haha. i love Jarrod!

i gotta go now. beddy-by so i can get up for STUPID summer school. i don't see the point anymore, i'm not going to pass any of my classes. but hey, only 4 more days till i'm out of that hell hole and then the next day i'm gone for a week! woot! 5 days till KenTuckY!

Later Gator ;)

leave me comments stating how much you've missed me :) heh. just kidding.

i'll try to write more later!

i'm back.. woot!

chocolateshake — 2005-08-08T04:08:08-05:00

Nicoley, i'm sorry to hear that, but my computer hasn't been working so i haven't been on here as much. if you need me call me at home -7638565406- thanks babe!:) i miss you too!!

anywho, ii just got back from Kentucky yesterday. it was so much fun! i'm glad to be back though.

but i have to go. i'm on Jason's computer and he'll yell at me if he finds out! heh.

Later Gator ;)

i'll try to write more some other time.

MY computer was just tooken today to get fixed so.. YAY!

i miss you all :)

Baby Kemp, Lattergrass

chocolateshake — 2005-08-25T03:08:05-05:00

my nephew was born !!! yay!

august 24th, 2005 at 10:55 a.m.
almost 5 lbs and 17 in. :)

looks just like Jarrod <3 sooo darn cute!

Later Gator ;)

depression kicks in.. once again.

chocolateshake — 2005-09-06T11:09:53-05:00

yup, you guessed it. Jenne's depressed once again. but seriously, when am i not?

me and Tyler broke up - for good.. ?
my nephew is till in the hospital - Jayden Clayton Kemp.
i'm getting into drugs - oh great.

i don't care about my life at all right now.
    no one seems to be here for me. oh well,
guess i should get used to it!

school started and it sucks ass. - big time.

                      write later.
                                jenn <3

i admit it. i've really messed it up.

chocolateshake — 2005-09-14T05:09:14-05:00

my life is all around cutting and drugs...
i honestly can't stop myself from hurting myself.

i don't have anyone here to help me through everything thats going on, and right now i absolutely need someone. more than anything! i'm trying to stop drugs, and i'm trying to stop cutting but it seems like every day i have a new reason to do these things... it sucks.

i'm thinking i'm done w/ this Mindsay stuff since i never write in here anymore.

besides, all i do is complain about life. hmmm. i dont want to be here anymore.

| X later gator :(

p.s. my myspace is www.myspace.com/jayeedoublen <---visit if you wanna.

Mood :: Itchy as f-ck!

chocolateshake — 2005-09-20T08:09:20-05:00

i'm doing so much better.

except for this allergic reaction - annoying!!

Jayden is still in the hospital, and i miss him dearly.
    *pics posted as soon as i can!*

me and Tyler .. *pft* who knows.

i talked to Elle and Kayla 2day. haven't chatted w/ those fine bitches for a long time. i sure did miss 'em.

i'm beginning to like this Alex kid. but he's in 9th, and i'm in 10th.. pitty.

today i was pretty down and sad, but i've also been in a good mood lately.

QUIT DRUGS AND CUTTING! aren't you happy for me? --i'd think so.

       i'm quitting smoking.

Jarrod's in jail for who knows how long. the cops finally picked him up while he was walking down the street. i sure do miss my big bro though, you know? wow - i rhymed.

       post later <3

school pictures SUCK ASS!

chocolateshake — 2005-09-22T04:09:31-05:00

yup, you guessed it, my school pic sucks ass. no kidding, i hate it!

i'm in better moods today lately. except when i'm w/ Tyler.. then i duno what happens to me! something completely changes.

Jayden's doing better, so i hear. and i put a pic of him up in my locker. everyone loves the cutie! b.t.w. Jayden is my nephew.. he's almost a month old. still in the hospital though. geez, thats going to be one BIG hospital bill...

i found out today Alex is older than i am, but just started school late. *phew*. BUT he asked this Janeane girl to homecoming :(... it's o.k. i heard he was just desperate.. heh. i still like him.

i was in ER yesterday when it was storming. i was in Nordic Hills development at Danielle's auntie's house because thats where D'Nell is staying for 3 weeks. the power went out and everything. thank god candles were invented :) Kate, Abby, and Drew are so adorable!!!!

      i quit smoking! - go me!

me and Tyler need to "talk" as he says....??
        me and Tyler -- *pft* (still)

i'm so confused!

i love you, Matt!!!

          post later <3

Jarrod's Back - in his pj's! hah.

chocolateshake — 2005-09-26T11:09:01-05:00

yup, my big bro is back, out of jail. i sure have missed him.

he was trying to talk to me 2day when i was laying on the couch. he asked me a question, but i was sleeping. so he called me a bitch. lol. so darn silly.

social services are threatening to take Jayden away. they have no right what so ever. and in order to take that baby away, they'll have to go through me. no joke. he's so cute. he was a month old Satie.

2day SUCKED! i've been in one of the worst depressive moods that i've been in for a long time.

Tyler's so stupid!

i saw him 2day and he wanted to ''talk''. i told him if he wasn't ready to argue, than don't even bother. and walked inside D'Nell's auntie's house to chill. he left for work. (supposibly). i hope they stop by in the morning so i can talk to him about tonight. gahd, he's so immature. he's 18 October 13th, he has A LOT of growing up to do. don't you think?

i have a mondo - headache so i'm going beddy by in a few.

g'night <3

long time no blog.

chocolateshake — 2005-12-31T01:12:24-05:00

it's been such a long time since i've written in here. feels like forever. after reading my previous blog, i have come to realize a lot of things have changed.

Jarrod is back in jail for 2 more months. i sure have missed him. but he was out christmas eve until today. Lauren, Jarrod, and Jayden went to go get pictures taken before he has to leave for jail, agian. they're going to be so cute. he goes back at 6. grr..

me and Tyler are NOT on speaking terms anymore. i don't care, he's such an idiot now. i'm glad we're over. besides, i'm w/ Chris now :) and i'm happy w/ him. we've been arguing the past few days about absolutely nothing, but whatever, i still love him.

well, thats all the blogging for today.

have a wonderful new years eve. party it up!!

sick.

chocolateshake — 2006-01-04T11:01:01-05:00

i can barely stay awake as it is, so i'll try my hardest to write a blog. lol.

so, Lauren is a dirty whore. i just wanted to punch her new years eve. she tell jarrod she loves him before he leaves for jail and then that night she was all over jarrod's best friend. i confronted her, and almost punched her. i hate her so much, now. it's unbelievable.

i went to go see jarrod today. i sure do miss him, a lot. he looks so good, though. he was eating a cookie, which you're supposed to finish eating before you leave the cafeteria. what a rebel.

i've been sick the past 2 days. i went to school on tuesday, but only lasted 1 hour before i got sick, so i went home after 1st hour. i hate being sick. but i'm all druged up on medicine, and i'm practically falling on the keyboard sleeping.

i'm having second thoughts about chris and i. i feel like i've changed him, just by what jordan, his friend, said. he said he's changed since we've been together. i'm sorry, jordan, if i've changed him. i didn't try. and besides, i don't know if i want to be the girlfriend that chases away my boyfriends friends. i never asked chris to change. i liked him just how he was. but i feel as if we're going to be over soon. and i feel bad. i'm his first girlfriend, and i feel obligated to stay w/ him longer than this. i don't know what to do anymore.

i hate when people change, let alone change because of me.

well, thats all the bloging for today. i'm going to bed.

night

dance it off, like nothing happend.

chocolateshake — 2006-01-07T06:01:23-05:00

i went to the Princeton dance last night w/ Danielle. yet it felt like i was there w/ Chris and Molly. Danielle totally went behind my back and ignored me the whole time. what i don't get is why would you invite someone to your dance, if you're not even going to hang out w/ them? i understand if she would've hung out w/ me and all her other friends, but instead she just ditching me for them. but whatever.

after the dance i called my mom to come pick me up. i didn't want to spend the night at Danielle's because she was being a REAL bitch to me last night. i told her i was going outside to wait for my mom and she rolled her eyes at me. i'm like, "why are you so mad?" and Danielle said, "i'm not." but i know what the eye-rolling thing means, because i do that. she thinks she can lie to me. so i just walked away from her, and ignored the fact that she was yelling my name.

i saw Adama when i was walking out of the doors. i ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug you could ever give somebody. i sure have missed my guardian angel. he's helped me through so much, and i've never really thanked him. but he is one of the greatest people i've met. and i thank him, now, for everything he's helped and has got me through. i love you, Adama.

outside of the school Chris, Jake, Jordan, and i were all just hanging out, talking. Jake and Jordan were making a big deal about how it was so cold out and wanted to go. so i told Chris to just go, so they'd stop their bitching. Chris said, "No, i want to make sure your ride gets here and you get home alright." gah, i love that kid. he's the most sweetest boyfriend i've ever had. Danielle and i were cool, somewhat, when she came outside. we were all throwing snowballs at eachother. Danielle accidently hit Jordan in the face and make his glasses lens come out. we couldn't find it, but i don't know if they found it, because i had to leave right after that. i hope they did. Jordan, Danielle's sorry about that. she really is.

also, last night Jamie told me stuff about what Tyler said. i guess he wants to kick Chris's ass because he's dating me. (could you be anymore jealous? threatening 2 of my boyfriends?? honestly!?). he also said that no one should date me because i'm a lieing whore. which i don't understand why he'd even say that because he's the one who wanted me back every day for 2 months after we broke up. he's so stupid. i just wanted to find his druggie ass and kick his ass when i heard that. i said he could try, but he'd have to go through me. and if he EVER laid a hand on me, so many people would kill the kid, w/o me even asking. which i think is funny. and i feel loved by that.

today i went to go see Jarrod, but it didn't work out as planned because we waited for an hour and once we got up there, they said, "no more visitors." i'm like, "THATS BULLSHIT!" and left. i was so pissed. but we're going wednesday, so i get to see my favorite brother then. and i can't wait!!

well, thats enough blogging for the day.

have a good one!

later gat0r<3

HmMmMmMm....

chocolateshake — 2006-01-15T07:01:07-05:00

when he touched my hand .. my stomach droped.

a good thing, or a bad thing?

i love Chris <3

blah.

chocolateshake — 2006-01-24T08:01:29-05:00

she ruins everything !!

i hate lauren.

&& i don't know anymore..

chocolateshake — 2006-01-30T09:01:58-05:00

&& i just want what we had

i miss Tyler so much.

&& i've got confusion in my head.

chocolateshake — 2006-02-01T08:02:21-05:00

well, you see..

i'm going out w/ Chris, yet, i like someone else.

and i mean, LIKE A LOT!!

and it sucks, because i don't know what to do.

i don't feel anything for Chris anymore, is that bad?

and tonight, the other guy i liked leaned in to kiss me, and i had instant butterflies.

it was fun hanging out w/ him tonight. i like him oh so much.

what should i do?

boys = UGH!

chocolateshake — 2006-03-18T08:03:57-05:00

seth = great

jake = confusing

ugh.

love.

chocolateshake — 2006-06-19T03:06:05-05:00

i'm in love with Seth.
no one seems to understand it.
no one wants us together.
people are spreading rumors.
saying i'm doing shit with one of my friends when Seth isn't around.
but i'm not.
i wouldn't do that.
i couldn't do that.
i love Seth more than anything.
and i wouldn't do anything to hurt him.
i just wish people would understand that.

Tyler.

chocolateshake — 2006-06-25T12:06:05-05:00

Tyler and I are talking, again.
We hung out today.
It was amazing.
But all of the memories came rushing back.
All of the feelings hit me hard.
I'm with Seth.
And I don't know what to do if I start to fall for Tyler, again.
And I know damn well that I will.
I don't want to hurt Seth.
I love Seth so much.
But Tyler was my first love.
And your first love never dies.
I'm so confused.

Update.

chocolateshake — 2007-03-25T01:03:57-05:00

Tyler and I got back together.
Tyler and I broke up.
We don't talk anymore.=[
My "Best Friend" told him I cheated on him.
I didn't. I miss him. Horribly.
Seth and I got back together.
Seth moved.
Seth and I broke up.
Seth's ex started shit with me.
She's a stupid bitch.
They're getting married.
I met a boy.
His name is Gregory.
We started dating in November.
We ended almost a week ago.
I love him.
I mean, this time I'm really in LOVE.
I'm scared.
We still are together, just not together.
We can't talk until Wednesday.
I can't wait until Wednesday.
I go to a new school now.
I've droped a couple of my friends.
I've made new friends.
I've fucked things up beyond belief.
I've made somethings go right.
Life's just life, I guess.

Until next time, bloggers. =]

fantastic.

chocolateshake — 2007-06-25T12:06:10-05:00

everything has been going great for the past month and a half.
i've been happy. and i mean, i've realllllly been happy!
i figured a lot of stuff out about myself and my life.
and i realized what i needed to do to go where i want to in life.

i found myself.
and it feels great.
i never want to lose this feeling.

my advice:
take the time to get to know yourself. there's no other feeling like it.

i feel as though i'm a better person now.
and you know what, i like that. i really do.

until next time =]]

Jenn's MindSay Blog

the new name..

this is Chae Lynne :)

i'm DQing it w/ Mal and Dom

the funnest day in a long time. i sure did miss you...

¿ are we going up -- or just going down ?

no subject

fricken sa-weetness man! haha. imma P-r-I-n-C-e-S-s... WOOT.

* my * hearts * torn * between * two *

it hurts holding you, and knowing you aren't mine.

"It's Good To Go."

*It's LoVe babeY .. mAke iT hUrt*

he saw the marks upon my wrist and said,

my kitten is still nameless...

Keith's been smoking the *GrAsS* .. literally, grass.

no subject

i hate road *rAgE*

i'm back.. woot!

Baby Kemp, Lattergrass

depression kicks in.. once again.

i admit it. i've really messed it up.

Mood :: Itchy as f-ck!

school pictures SUCK ASS!

Jarrod's Back - in his pj's! hah.

long time no blog.

sick.

dance it off, like nothing happend.

HmMmMmMm....

blah.

&& i don't know anymore..

&& i've got confusion in my head.

boys = UGH!

love.

Tyler.

Update.

fantastic.

It's LoVe babeY .. mAke iT hUrt

Keith's been smoking the GrAsS .. literally, grass.

i hate road rAgE